Bidet, Mate!

Let me start by saying that prior to my visit to Brazil, I had never used a bidet in my life. I had always looked at them with my head tilted, thinking "Why would anyone do that?". In Rio, I stayed in a hostel that had these hoses hooked up to the plumbing under the toilet. They could be used for a rinse. I always felt it seemed like a crowded proposition to put me, my waste, my fixtures, and the house's fixtures all down in there together. Plus, the floor always seemed to be wet, which to me meant someone's backside got drenched and so did the floor. No thank you. At the time I was sharing the bathroom with an Aussie, and I mentioned to him the odd spraying devices. He said, "you should try it--It´s so CLEAN".




Then I went to Brasilia "A Vision Of The Future". The city is really fascinating. It is a collaborative effort of Oscar Niemeyer, his mentor Lúcio Costa, and the president at the time Juscelino Kubitschek. On a plot of land in the middle of nowhere (and I DO mean 'NOWHERE') JK decided to move the capital HERE (from Rio).



The city was designed in the shape of an airplane, with curved wings. Each 'sector' had its particular purpose, and the buildings were all to have a particular (Modern) look. It would unify the look and function of the city. The layout of the city would group like functioning buildings together. For instance, hotels and shopping are in the same sector. And you will NEVER find a grocery store in that zone, because zoning prohibits it.



Down to the footprint of the hotel (how wide and tall the hotel can be), all was planned by Niemeyer and Costa. Which is to say there was probably a plan somewhere at some point which dictated that my room, room 802 at the Hotel das Americas, was to have a bidet in the bathroom.

And so there it sits. In the privacy of my own hotel room, I felt a new freedom to try out the new device and experience any new sort of horribly humiliating experiences that I wouldn´t actually have to divulge to anyone, because nobody I knew could hear my screams.


As it turns out, once you figure out which knobs to turn (and which NOT to turn--to turn your Bidet into a sprinkler for your ENTIRE bathroom), it´s actually kind of nice. Brasilia turned out to be a lot more educational than I ever thought it would be!